Barry's Blog

Thursday, March 11 2010

A Strange Melancholy...

Following the global economic tsunami that began in mid-2008, there followed a succession of suicides of formerly wealthy and powerfully connected men throughout the world. The CEO of Sheldon Good, a leading U. S. real estate auction firm, shot himself in the head behind the wheel of his Jaguar. The acting CFO of Freddie Mac hung himself in his basement. And a French money manager who had invested the wealth of some of Europe's most elite and wealthy families slit his wrists and died in his Madison Avenue office after he had lost $1.4 billion of his client's money in Bernard Madoff's Ponzi scheme. And when a Bear Stearns senior executive learned that he would not be hired by JPMorgan Chase, which had bought his collapsed firm, he took a drug overdose and jumped out the 29th floor of his office building. A friend of his observed, "This Bear Stearns thing...broke his spirit."

When Alexis de Tocqueville visited America in the 1830's, he recorded his now famous observations in his book, "Democracy in America." One of his most poignant observations was that, "there is a strange melancholy that haunts the inhabitants...in the midst of abundance." And even in the mid-nineteenth century, Americans believed that riches and prosperity could make us happy, quench our thirst and yearnings for joy and happiness. And yet, as de Tocqueville added, the "incomplete joys of this world will never satisfy the human heart."

These observations from the recent economic crisis, and de Tocqueville's observations, are recounted in Tim Keller's book, "Counterfeit Gods." In this fascinating little read, Keller explores what he calls "the empty promises of money, sex, and power," and believes that within every human heart there resides what he calls an "idol factory."

And while many of us may have the notion that "idols" have to be some kind of literal statue, Keller rightly suggests that when the Bible speaks against idolatry, it is suggesting that God was saying that when we take any good thing in life; a great career, material possessions, or even our families, and turn them into ultimate things, we are in deep trouble. We have become idolaters. We place these "good" things at the very center of our lives, because (conventional wisdom suggests) we think that they will provide us with security, significance, and fulfillment, if we only attain them.

And while we may experience sorrow as a pain when we lose one good thing among others, we are despairing, which is ultimately inconsolable, when we have lost what we perceive to be an ultimate thing. When we as human beings lose the ultimate source of the meaning and significance of our lives (whatever we have placed there), there is no alternative source to turn to. Like the Bear Stearns executive, it breaks our spirit.

How do we account for this "strange melancholy" that permeates our culture and society? Not just the melancholy in downturns of our economy, but also during times of great prosperity and success? And when we experience genuine despair amidst economic downturns, what does this say about us as people?

Just wondering...

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FinishingWell is not responsible for the content of these Comments

Fri,Mar 12 2010 01:53:45 PM

"Barry, as you know, suicide is not confined to our culture and society. It is a condition of the human being and maybe more so of males. As far as society and culture is concerned, during downturns, are there more suicides or do 'We" notice them more because they are "notable'? "We" are the one's that don't understand how anyone can have such fame and fortune, have it all, and not find life worth living. We seem to think " the ship coming in" is it.

I think there is more to the decision to "end it all" than just money. I think the deeper issues are loss, shame, humiliation, pressure, guilt and fatigue. Suicide can also be for honor or sacrifice.

The examples given in this letter start with the "loss" of money, which led to "shame" and "humiliation", which led to "pressure", which led to "guilt", which led to "fatigue" and all of that led to the fatal decision.

The Japanese ritual of suicide, known as seppuku or hara kiri, requires disembowelment. This form was favored because it was slow and painful and therefore demonstrated courage, self-control and strong resolve. Voluntary seppuku was performed to avoid the dishonor of capture, show loyalty to one's lord by following him into death, protest against some policy of a superior, or atone for failure.

"Suicide bombers" are sacrificing their lives for a better after life. Rational insanity?

One suicide I find interesting is Judas. Certainly a different society and culture but the same result. Did he feel guilt that his plan backfired? He didn't lose his silver, he threw it back then did the deed.

Then there are "prison suicides"? Certainly a different culture and society compared to a free society. Maybe the result of fatigue or a feeling that life is not worth living in such an environment. Not a loss of fame or fortune.

Consider the Jews at Masada. Quite a different society and culture. Suicide was forbidden by Jewish law. But, when the Romans finally breached the fort, the Zealots vowed not to be taken again. The life that awaited them would be worse than death. Honor or coward? Not a loss of fame or fortune.

I have heard that the number one group of suicide is men, mid fifties. Before I got to that age group, I didn't understand why. They didn't warn us about the 45 to 55 or so years did they?

The plan was for our jobs to be steady, kids to be grown and educated, house paid for, retirement set and growing, a little money in the bank, parents taken care of, marriage strong with more time to spend together, time to exercise and take care of our own health, relax, slow down and enjoy things of interest to us, travel, enjoy our church, or whatever you thought it should be.

It turns out that this may be the most expensive time when kids start driving, high school and college tuition kicks in, kids may have problems of many natures (fill in the blank), retirement funds have vanished with a poor economy, house payments due for many years because of loans for tuition payments, must work more years than planned, parents need help and care, age creeping up, your own health and your spouses health may not be what you hoped for, death of loved one's and friends become more frequent or you may even experience divorce resulting in a split home for children and all the goodies that comes with that. AH, THE GOLDEN YEARS.

Loss, shame and humiliation for mistakes made or for not planning better, guilt, pressure and fatigue make themselves at home. We don't want to start over. We want to end the struggle. It makes no sense. The whole thing called life is stupid.

It's been said that God will not put more on you than you can bear but sometimes "we" put more on ourselves than "we" can overcome.

We know God loves us and will forgive but why don't we feel like it? Sometimes we can't love or forgive ourselves? This is where that little thing that we resist, because we don't have the patience for it, comes into play. FAITH. Have faith until it makes sense again.

That's the part I hate, waiting for his time. It would be easier if I knew the timing. Let me do something. He answers back, you've done quite enough already, that's why we are at this point. I am speechless.

That "strange melancholy" that permeates our culture and society in down times is normal. The battle is within each of us and the victor is also within us even when we do not feel like it.
And always remember that, God will help you even in the good times.

"

–Tom

Barry's Blog

A Strange Melancholy...

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