"Men lust, but they know not what for;
They wander, and lose track of the goal;
They fight and compete, but they forget the prize;
They spread seed, but spurn the seasons of growth;
They chase power and glory, but miss the meaning of life."
Social critic Georgie Gilder once made this astute observation about modern man's quest for fulfillment, happiness, and significance, and I believe he was right. One of the constants I've observed in working with men can simply be expressed by the phrase, "men like to keep score." Whether it is achievements and accolades in their work, financial net worth, asset appreciation, golf handicaps, or batting averages, guys like to keep score. It is our way of attempting to figure out "how we stack up" in the world among our peers.
I am reminded of Bob Buford's best-selling book, Halftime, in which he suggests that men largely spend the first half of their lives pursuing success, and the latter half of their lives seeking significance. In a recent newsletter, Buford relates how oftentimes successful men can't seem to break the "addiction to success" and go on to the next season of their lives, what he terms "significance." Why? Primarily because "significance is largely immeasureable. They are so accustomed to measuring their lives in terms of money (with the lines going upward and to the right), and they can't handle the idea of the line going downward, even if they are quite wealthy."
For most of us, life is built upon a constellation of habits and the need for measurable results, and needless to say, this is one of the most deeply ingrained habits of "successful" people. But if we go back to Gilder's quote, it appears that we may very well "miss the meaning of life" as we are "succeeding" in life. How does one measure "meaning in life"? Part of the answer may lie in Jim Collins' (author of the best-selling Good to Great) comments to Buford: "Business people confuse money with mission. Good becomes the enemy of the great." Peter Drucker, who mentored Buford during his "halftime" years, always drew Buford back to that single, penetrating question, "Yes, you are succeeding, but to what end?" Mission must always come first.
Charles Williams, one of C.S. Lewis' Inkings literary friends who met with him in Oxford over the years, once observed, "When the means become autonomous, they are deadly." I think what Williams was suggesting is that, from a business perspective, even when financial and this-worldly success is achieved, it has a tendency to blur our vision of what has true, lasting value, Beyond This World.
Could we be succeeding in life, but missing the meaning of our lives? Do we realize that mission comes first? Have we come to realize that it is the myriad of relationships with family, colleagues, and friends that in some fashion make up the measurable significance of our lives? Do we have a vision for success and achievement that transcends this temporal world?
"I do not find that pictures of physical catastrophe - that sign in the clouds, those heavens rolled up like a scroll - help one so much as the naked idea of Judgment. We cannot always be excited. We can, perhaps, train ourselves to ask more and more often how the thing which we are saying or doing (or failing to do) at each moment will look when the irresistable light streams in upon it; that light which is so different from the light of this world - and yet, even now, we know just enough to take it into account. Women sometimes have the problem of trying to judge by artificial light how a dress will look by daylight. That is very like the problem of all of us: to dress our souls not for the electric lights of the present world but for the daylight of the next. The good dress is the one that will face that light. For that light will last longer." -C.S. Lewis, The World's Last Night
For FinishingWell,
Barry Morrow
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